Vaginismus: A disorder that causes women only pain during intercourse

For many women, intercourse is like being hit with a sharp object

"My body won't let me have sex and when I do, it feels like someone is stabbing me."

These were the words of Hannah van de Peer, who has a disease that causes pain during intercourse. Vaginismus affects the lives of women all over the world.

But very few people know about this matter.

Basically, the body of those suffering from this disorder shows this kind of reaction due to the fear of sexual intercourse.

"I've talked to a lot of women who have had this problem. Almost all of them have one thing in common, and that's that they're very lonely," Hanna said.

In those with vaginismus, the muscles of the vagina become tight and the woman has no control over it.

Some sufferers have difficulty having sex. During this time they have burning and cutting pain.

Many also find it difficult to insert tampons.

Hannah is now 21 years old. Recalling her first sexual experience, she said: "I was always taught that losing virginity was painful. But the first time I had sex, I felt like someone was twisting a knife inside me."

Some women describe it as a feeling of cutting or prickling the skin.

UK consultant gynecologist Leila Frodsham says it's one of the last taboos about sex.

"It's normal to feel anxious about having sex for the first time, and we've probably all experienced it. But women with vaginismus can live with this feeling for the rest of their lives."

Hannah van de Peer suffers from vaginismus

Amina is in her early twenties and suffers from vaginismus. He says that this matter has changed his life forever.

"Vaginismus has consumed the joy of my married life. I don't even have the ability to choose when I want to have children."

This condition can occur at any time in a woman's life. From sexually transmitted diseases to childbirth or any trauma related to sex or menopause - any experience during these times can cause this disorder to appear in a woman's life.

Some sufferers only discover their disease when they fail to have sex for the first time.

But Dr Leila Frodsham says strict religious discipline may also be to blame.

"There are some people who grow up in a religious discipline. But they don't have any problems at all. But there are people who are like sponges - they soak up all the hints and comments," he told the BBC.

"One of the comments is, intercourse on your wedding night will be very painful and to prove virginity we want to see some blood after intercourse."

Although Amina did not have to produce any such evidence to prove her virginity, the thought always crossed her mind.

"It was probably one of the things that made me so afraid of sex," she says.

"On my wedding night I felt like my body shut down. It's hard to talk about it, because people won't understand. They'll think I'm exaggerating or making the whole thing up."

Vaginismus sufferers also have problems using tampons

Hannah van de Peer was once told that sex is never good for a woman—"I went to a church school and was told that sex can lead to bloody painful situations, pregnancy or STDs."

For some other women, like Isley Lynn, the disorder has had a major emotional impact on their relationships.

"I remember, I was really scared that my partner might think that maybe I didn't have any love for him or that I wasn't physically attracted to him," she says.

Shame and taboo often prevent women from seeking help in this regard. However, it is possible to cure this disease called vaginismus.

Both Hanna and Amina are committed to seeking treatment from sex coaches. At the same time, psychosexual therapy will also be given to them regarding healthy sexual intercourse.

Both physical and psychological treatments are given to cure vaginismus.

Amina said it helped a lot up to a point. "I've been married for over five years and I think I'm getting better.

In this treatment process, importance is also given to the psychological aspect of women.

For this reason, through psychological counseling or psychosexual counseling, attempts are made to remove the emotional fear of intercourse.

Dr Vanessa McKay, a gynecologist at the Queen Elizabeth University Hospital in Glasgow, explains it this way - "It's a form of talking therapy, which helps you to understand more about your feelings about your body and to change some of the negative thoughts."

Hannah reports that she has made significant progress, but she still finds sex difficult.

But he is determined to make things better, to make more changes.

"I want to have sex that I enjoy. I want to be able to walk around wearing a tampon when I'm on my period," she says.

"I set small goals for myself and I'm working towards achieving those goals for the future."